Not so daily thinker

Chinesse Name, Englsh Jokes

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?



Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.



Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!



Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?



Caller: I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)!  It's urgent.



Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?



Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)?as involved in an accident.
Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.



Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital,
then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but
I don't have time for this!



Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?



Operator: I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).



Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!

Age cannot defy

Poor Old Man   

  An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he's crying. The old man says, "I'm retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and has sex with me twice a day"

The young man says, "Well then why the hell are you crying!?"

The old man replies, "I can't remember where I live!"

From http://jokes.comedycentral.com/jokeOfDay.asp

Comments:

Sometimes in this life we cannot defy our age.Some says age had nothing to do with maturenity.But i say it has something to do with it, more or less.You cannot expect people who sees many, knows nothing.When old people give me an advise about a thing..i usually respect them.But, again sometimes you just could not give what you didn't have.Thats why we have to learn it while we still can.

So what's with this stop to learn and start living mumbo jumbo ?

What's with let it flow atittude ?Well it's nothing wrong with it if you don't plan to influence others,the problem is you will get a child someday and they will learn from you...do you really wan them to learn not to have something to pursue ?

*AMAZED*

German English

From one of the outcast Forum

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!

Ten Commandment of Marriage

Commandment 1

Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

So they say that marriage is the same substance as thunder and lightning.As a matter of fact maybe it is.All the shouting and banging in the room must prove that it is.

Commandment 2

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep.

Listening skill will be our greatest asset to live a happy marriage for man Because woman just cannot do the same *Grin*

Commandment 3

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

It's not in our country that divorce is so expensive (except if you are a celebrities).Some of the man just dissapear without a trace.If the wive is not disturb by missing a man figure than it will be an easy walk out.

Commandment 4

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

See, it's a listening thingy again.I guess i better shape up my ear if i want to get a successful marriage.Why always be the talks ?

Commandment 5

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

It's the lack of sensitivity in man, but hey you married them for you have somebody to hang with.^_^

Commandment 6

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

When you try to love other by your own image, the disaster will also peek to play.

Commandment 7

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Again another listening thingy....Learn !

Commandment 8

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Why don't you woman have all the attribute ? Maybe the man is just too blind when they ask her to marry them ?

Commandment 9

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

Sick Truth, But with a lot of money you (man) could also be a nice add on in the house of her own.*sigh*

Commandment 10

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

Marriage seems a big demise for man.That's why God made more woman than man.So man can have what they deserve (to blame eve at the first place)

Commandment 11

A good wive is a deaf wive, a good husband is a blind husband.

Nahhh...i just make that up !

Twisted Logic

Konon, disebuah Klinik Bersalin, tiga calon bapak menunggu istrinya melahirkan.
Sedang asyik mereka berbincang, dokter muncul dari kamar bersalin dan menghampiri mereka sambil berkata :
"Pak Anto, selamat ya, istri bapak melahirkan anak kembar Dua"
"Matur Nuwun dok, jumlahnya cocok dengan tempat saya bekerja, pabrik kacang dua kelenci." jawab Pak Anto bangga.

Berikut, pak Dokter menghampiri Pak Cecep : "Pak Cecep, selamat ya, istri
bapak melahirkan kembar tiga"
"Makasih, dokter, gue bilang juga ape, kerje di pabrik mobil Tige Berlian"
komentar Pak Cecep dengan logat Betawinya.

Giliran sang dokter menghampiri Pak Slamet, tiba tiba Pak Slamet pingsan.
Dokter dan perawat seantero rumah bersalin kalang kabut memberikan pertolongan darurat.
Setelah siuman, sang dokter bertanya: "Ada apa Pak Slamet?, kok tiba-tiba pingsan. Tenang sajalah. Ndak apa-apa.
Istri melahirkan itu kan biasa.Mestinya Bapak bersyukur karena istri bapak juga telah melahirkan dengan selamat."

Dengan memelas Pak Slamet berkata: "Adddduuuuhh dok, yung biyung!. Apa anak saya juga kembar, ta?"
"Kalau kembar kenapa?" tanya sang dokter tak mengerti.

Sambil memegang erat erat tangan sang dokter, Pak Slamet berkata:
"Itu tadi Dok, Pak Anto bekerja di kacang dua kelinci, istrinya melahirkan kembar dua.
Pak Cecep kerja di Tiga berlian, dapat kembar tiga.

Lhaaa... saya gimanaaaa, pak dokterrrrr biyung biyung........????? Saya satpam di Auto 2000.......!!!!!!

Sometimes we like to use twisted logic,my friend tell me there is two kind of logic, truth logic and twisted logic.

There is enough example of twisted logic like one of the jokes above.

So,better make sure you are not using a twisted logic.